


Our Secrets Are Our Own

by Crossroads_Castiel



Series: No One Needs to Know [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Bunker Sex, Canon Related, First Time, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, Smut, Sneaking Around, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:54:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9468254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crossroads_Castiel/pseuds/Crossroads_Castiel
Summary: He slid his mouth off the Angel and gripped his face with one hand, running circles across his jaw as he stared into Cass’ eyes. “What are we doing?”Castiel put both his hands on the small of Dean’s back, under the thick fabric of his jacket. He ran them slowly from his shoulders to his low back, staring at the hunter as he spoke slowly. “Whatever you want to do, Dean. I’m yours, in any capacity.”“Damn it,” Dean groaned out as he pressed their lips together again, their tongues sliding easily into each other’s mouths this time. This was what they had both been avoiding for years. At this moment Dean could not seem to recall why it had seemed like such a bad idea now. He could feel the hard length of Cass’ erection against his thigh and he knew very well his own condition. “I…I don’t want mom and Sam to know, not yet, Cass. It’ll mess this all up,” Dean whispered out, his breath soft on Castiel’s lips. His eyes were nervous





	

**Author's Note:**

> The start of the No One Needs to Know series. 
> 
> Also, YES I use Cass vs. Cas. If you don't want to read that, here is your heads up!

Dean had settled his mom into Sam’s vacant room for the night. When he’d walked into the spare bedroom and turned on the light to set her up there, he couldn’t breathe. This room had been the temporary home of Kevin, Charlie, and even Cass when he was human. This room did not have good memories attached to it. Too much loss and too much pain. He couldn’t put his newly resurrected mom in this room with its ever present feeling of loss. _When_ they got Sam home, Dean could sleep on the couch until they set her up her own room. Cass didn’t sleep; maybe he would help him fix up one of the other unused bedrooms that just needed a good cleaning.

Cass. Dean was feeling very unsettled about him right now. Not even 24 hours ago, his best friend had offered to go with him and die at his side to very certain (he thought) doom. He could not show it at the time, but the gesture had hit him hard and it had hurt more than Dean had expected to hug him goodbye. At least he knew Castiel would watch over Sam. That showed the extent of the trust he put in the Angel. Yet here they were tonight in the bunker, with his newly resurrected mom, looking for his lost brother. Dean didn’t blame Cass, but he had been skulking about, avoiding him as much as possible as if he was waiting for Dean to explode at him. 

Dean checked in on his mom, who appeared asleep, though he didn’t think she’d be able to sleep for long. He remembered only sleeping in small increments after his resurrection from Hell, but she’d been in Heaven…maybe she wouldn’t struggle like he had. God, he hoped she wouldn’t. Maybe Cass could talk to her? Cass. Dean really needed to talk to Castiel. They’d had no time to talk alone since everything went down. Mom had been full of questions and she kept giving his best friend the side eye like he might sprout horns…or wings maybe. That…that right there was why he had not brought him up to his mom on the way back to the bunker. He’d hoped seeing him first would help remove the suspicions any hunter would feel upon first realizing they were in the presence of an actual Celestial entity. Dean had unfortunately not gotten the chance to introduce them slowly. When he heard his mom yell he’d come running but seeing her pointing a gun at Cass, he’d panicked a bit more than was probably necessary. Castiel looked down right pissed and his mom looked trigger happy. He’d dived for the gun, knowing Cass would not attack without provocation but hishe had no such assurances with Mary.

He had been taken completely off guard by the crushing hug he’d received from him but it had been so welcome after the events of the day. If Dean would have been willing to admit it, he was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Numb even. The familiarity of Castiel helped ground him. He’d stood in the presence of two Gods today, then his 33 years dead mother. Feeling the trench coat under his hands and Castiel’s chin dug into his shoulder was welcome, known, and a comfort. He was always his one constant when everything else in his life was chaos. 

Dean tried to look at Castiel objectively as his mom might see him; Dark, orderly hair, Piercing blue eyes…Piercing? Sensible dress shoes. The trench coat and tie…No wonder mom had been skeptical of him being a hunter. He certainly didn’t dress,act, or look the part. What had she thought he was before Dean told her? She had given him the oddest look as they parted from their hug….No time for introspection now, though. He needed to talk to Cass and make a plan for finding Sam. He went in search of his friend.  
\-------------------------------------  
Castiel sat on the roof of the bunker, his legs dangling over the edge as if he was contemplating taking flight. If only he could. He’d failed Dean within the first few hours of him giving him his final wish to take care of Sam, yet he was alive and now Castiel would have to face his disappointment and anger. He wasn’t sure he could bear it once again. Looking down at the distant ground, he briefly considered making a drop and heading off into the night to avoid the painful conversation to follow, but he had to find Sam. After that, he had to hunt down what happened to Lucifer after he was ripped from his body. He had to make sure he was gone for good. He _had_ to fulfill his duties and obligations. 

“You not intending to jump are you? Cause I’d have to take exception to that plan, bud.” Castiel tensed as Dean’s voice broke the relative silence of the rooftop. He sighed and his shoulders slumped, bracing for his anger. 

“Hello, Dean,” he said without turning around. “I am not currently feeling suicidal, no. I came up here to give you and your mother some time alone. She does not trust my presence in the bunker as of now, I don’t believe.” Dean walked over and sat down beside him, letting his legs dangle as he clutched a little tightly to the roof’s ledge. 

“Huh...so if I fall, you can heal me right?” Dean said as he peered nervously over the edge. 

“I won’t let you fall, Dean. Ever,” Castiel looked over at him with calm assurance in his eyes. Dean coughed nervously and rubbed his neck, their other hands almost touching in the close proximity.   
“As far as mom goes, she’ll get used to you. I’m sure she’ll like you as soon as she gets to know you. Didn’t take Sam and I long now did it?” Dean grinned as he playfully punched him in the shoulder. 

“As I recall you were not fond of me at all at first,” Castiel said with a note of sadness in his tone as he looked up at the night sky. 

“Well, you had a pretty big stick up your ass then…You’re one of us now,” Dean said with a smile. 

“Listen…I’m so sorry I lost Sam…It all happened so quickly and I wasn’t as quick as I normally was, being so distracted with you having gone off to…”

“Whoa, whoa Cass. Hold up. I’m not mad if that’s what you’re aiming at. This shit happens to us all too often. It’s not your fault she zapped you away. Where’d you end up anyway?”

“Just three hours away, thank goodness. If I’d ended up in Australia again, I’m not sure how I would have gotten home without my wings….or a passport,” Castiel said worriedly. Dean had not thought of that before. Shit. He needed to make him a passport to keep with him…and credit cards. 

“Listen, you’re not going to disappear on me are you? I know my mom being here is…different, but I need you here, Cass. We gotta find Sam,” Dean added to take the weight from his words.

“I had no intentions of leaving before we found, Sam….Is your mother sleeping?” Castiel abruptly changed the subject.

Dean noted the subject change but he left it alone. “Yeah, I’ve got her in Sam’s room…I couldn’t put her in the guest room…” He let the reason hang in the air. Castiel understood, nodding his head. “Think you could help me fix her up a room?”

“Of course. She needs her own space. Coming here after being in Heaven so long…it will be very jarring for her,” He spoke from experience and Dean nodded his head solemnly. They both sat there quietly, staring up at the stars, letting the comfortable silence swallow up the stress of the day. 

“Cass?” Dean said quietly after some time had passed. 

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel looked over, his eyes heavy with so many unspoken words. 

“Why did you offer to go with me today? To blow up Amara, I mean. You would have died.” Dean had thought he wasn’t going to ask, but the silence had wooed him into comfort and the words flowed out. 

Cass sat in silence, his eyes going back up to the sky, avoiding eye contact as the wind ruffled his hair. “Do you want a reason you want to hear…or the reason we both avoid?” Castiel said quietly, making goose bumps form on Dean’s arms. Shit. He was going to do this now?

Dean almost said forget it. Almost said he didn’t need to know why….but he’d almost died, again. He went back to his confession in that church, that confession not even Sam knew about…”How about the truth?” He said quietly. 

“I didn’t want to live if you were gone, and I didn’t want you to die alone…” Castiel said softly, with bitter feeling in his voice. 

Dean sighed. Well, there it was. They’d danced around it for quite some time. “I’m not worth dying over, Cass.”

“We’re about two of my deaths too late for that, Dean,” Castiel said with a soft smile playing at the corner of his lips. “What part of “I did all of it for you,” do you still not grasp?” His eyes were heart breaking in their honesty, showing Dean he meant every word.

“Cass…we’ve talked about this before…” Dean said as he stared at his feet dangling off the building.

Castiel’s voice grew firm then. “No, we’ve talked about how you feel but that you promised Sam you’d never put anything or anyone in front of him…You never let me give my response.”

Dean sighed softly as he clutched at the rooftop, closing his eyes to ward himself from the truth. “You’re right…not fair, but it won’t change anything, Cass. Nothing’s changed.”

“Hasn’t it? Since you made that broad promise, I’ve been human. You’ve had the Mark of Cain. We’ve both almost died multiple times. Actually, we both _have_ died since then. When do you think you or I get a choice to be happy? Do you really think Sam would be so disapproving of us?”

Us. Castiel had made it a word. A word Dean had tried not to use for them ever since he saw something there. Dean actually thought Sam would be fine with it. However, now he had to contend with his mother’s perceptions of him. He already knew his dad would roll over in his grave...”Actually, I think Sam would be cool with it, but now mom’s here too…”

Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes, much to his surprise. “Dean, there will always be a reason for you not to be with me. I know you meant what you said to me when I was human but you live your life so afraid of what people perceive you to be. You hide your intelligence and your sensitivity in cheap alcohol and loose women and I am not sure I can stand to watch it for another decade.” Castiel abruptly stood up. “You told me you loved me once. I love you, too. An Angel loving a human is a very extraordinary thing. Now…now is not a good time for this, I know. I just couldn’t let it go without saying in case one of us dies again, which for us is likely. If you want to discuss it again after we find Sam and I track down what happened to Lucifer, I am always open to the discussion.” Castiel extended his hand to Dean to help him up, and Dean gripped it and felt himself pulled up effortlessly. His momentum didn’t stop and he ended up in the Angel’s arms, and that was all it took. 

They found themselves pressed against one another, their lips finding each other as if they were magnetized. Castiel was hesitant while Dean was bold. Dean’s lips worked over Cass’, his tongue coaxing his mouth open with practiced ease. Those lips he had stared at for years with want were not chapped, just soft, warm, and inviting. What the Hell was he doing? Fuck it. He needed this. Dean’s hands slid up the back of Castiel’s trench coat, finding the warm skin hiding under so many layers. 

“You’re so damn overdressed all the time,” Dean growled out as he nipped at the shorter man’s throat.

“If you’re going to undress me, I suggest it not be on the roof…” Castiel said in a gasp as Dean’s hands fought their way beneath his shirt, the nails digging just slightly into the skin of his back.   
Dean’s eyes almost rolled back in his head at those words. 

He slid his mouth off the Angel and gripped his face with one hand, running circles across his jaw as he stared into Cass’ eyes. “What are we doing?”

Castiel put both his hands on the small of Dean’s back, under the thick fabric of his jacket. He ran them slowly from his shoulders to his low back, staring at the hunter as he spoke slowly. “Whatever you want to do, Dean. I’m yours, in any capacity.”

“Damn it,” Dean groaned out as he pressed their lips together again, their tongues sliding easily into each other’s mouths this time. This was what they had both been avoiding for years. At this moment Dean could not seem to recall why it had seemed like such a bad idea now. He could feel the hard length of Cass’ erection against his thigh and he knew very well his own condition. “I…I don’t want mom and Sam to know, not yet, Cass. It’ll mess this all up,” Dean whispered out, his breath soft on Castiel’s lips. His eyes were nervous.

“I agree. Crowley would also be insufferable and we may need him and Rowena’s help if Lucifer truly is still free. Best to keep this between us….” Castiel said assuredly. 

"No one has to know...You're okay with that?" Dean said as he stared into the Angel's eyes, looking for hesitation. 

"Yes," Castiel said with confidence before pressing them together.

"Then let's get inside..."  
\---------  
Dean locked the door to his room while Castiel was nipping at his throat, his shaky hand barely able to turn the bolt in place. Shit. "Have you done this before, Cass?"

Castiel froze and looked at Dean with a quirked eyebrow. "Haven't you? I've only had the one person, and you know about that..." Castiel's voice faded away, self-conscious.

"Well..." Dean hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "A couple of times, yeah. No one else knows that..."

"I would never tell your secrets, Dean. I never have,” Cass growled out as he slid his warm ,rough hands under the hem of Dean’s shirt, his fingers dancing at the band of his pants.

Dean leaned against the door, his eyes closed and his breathing ragged. “Cass, I normally….shit…I’m not a top, Cass.” Castiel leaned back and quirked his eyebrow and gave Dean a considering look. “Do you know what I’m sayin’?”

“I..I have watched porn before so I think so…You are usually the recipient of the sex?” Castiel’s eyebrows raised in surprise as Dean nodded slowly, studying the Angel’s face for his reaction. “That…surprises me a bit, Dean. You seem to like to be in control of everything…” Castiel said as he tilted his head to the side to study Dean, looking at his face as if it was a book to be read.

Dean quirked his lip and shrugged slightly. “I like it…I like not being the one in charge of everything all the time…but I don’t mind saying what I want in bed either…so I’m not saying I’m submissive. They’re different.”

Biting his lip, Cass let his nervousness show now. “Dean…I have some concerns about me being the one to…I could hurt you. I’m inexperienced…”

Dean gripped the lapels of his trench coat and shoved it off his shoulders. “Cass, it’s not surgery…It’s just sex…Don’t overcomplicate things, as you Angels tend to do…”

“Dean…I really think you should…” Castiel said nervously, trailing off.

“Cass, it’ll be okay,” Dean said soothingly as he began unbuttoning Castiels’ dress shirt as he kissed along his exposed neck.

“Dean…” Castiel began again as he pushed the shirt off of him. 

“Shhh, Angel. I can show you what to do. Didn’t you just say we would do this however I wanted to? Well, I want you inside _me_ , please.” Dean whispered into Castiel’s ear and he smiled as he felt a shudder run through him.

“Very well, Dean,” Castiel groaned out, his hands busying themselves with pulling Dean’s shirts over his head. Once they were both bare chested, their mouths latched back onto one another as Dean edged them to the bed. They were hungry for one another after years of sexual tension but Dean was acutely aware his mother was only a room away. Damned inconvenient but he’d make due. As they got to the bed, Dean began fumbling with his own pants as Castiel undid his belt. Dean had to take a steady breath as he watched Cass slide his belt out of the loops to let it fall onto the floor. Next came both of their pants and underwear, more urgent now. As soon as their hands were free of their clothing, they found one another again, fingers gliding greedily across hip bones, stomachs, ribs. They pressed against one another, both sighing happily at the dizzying body heat. Touching like this felt like the answer to a question they’d been asking for years. 

Dean could feel their erections rubbing against one another and he felt light headed. It had been so long since he’d been with anyone and here he was with an Angel, _his_ Angel. He had a fleeting, concerned thought about the sanctity of Angel sex but he shoved the thought aside. Best not to think about it too hard. He couldn’t anyway, as Castiel was pushing him down onto the bed. Dean had a moment of not being able to breathe as he stared up into those intensely blue eyes that were still a bit hesitant. Dea reached up and grabbed Cass’ dark brown hair and pulled him down to kiss him. He felt all the resistance glide away as they deepened their kiss and one of Cass’ hands went to grip his hip possessively. 

“There’s…you know, lube in my top dresser drawer. Gonna need that…” Dean mumbled shyly as Castiel’s teeth nipped along his collar bone. 

“You realize I have no clue what I’m doing, Dean….” Castiel looked panicked and Dean kissed his chin. 

“Breathe, Cass. Just get the lube. I’ll talk you through it….”  
\------------------------------------  
That had not taken long. Dean had talked him through the awkward first few minutes of prep involved, though the hungry look in the Angel’s face as he prepped him lent more toward Dean’s stomach knotting up in nervousness than awkwardness. Dean reminded himself Cass was almost a virgin and he…well he was about as far from a virgin as a mere mortal could be, so he was patient and kind with Castiel but now Cass hovered above him, his hard dick slowly sliding into him, and Dean’s eyes fluttered closed. It had been some time since he’d done this and he forgot how fucking amazing it felt. More so because it was Castiel. He slowly opened his eyes back up and Cass, well he was beautiful. 

His hair hung over his forehead and he had his top teeth dug into his bottom lip, straining for control as he slid to his end. His eyes were wide and a bit wild and Dean moaned from just the look of him. As soon as Cass was all the way in, he let out a ragged breath. “Dean, I don’t feel very in control…You’re so….It’s so…”

Dean smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck, letting his fingers dance along his shoulders, adjusting to the feeling himself. “I know…it’s a bit overwhelming at first, especially when you’re not used to it. You can move when you’re ready…Just breathe. You won’t hurt me.” Castiel’s eyes filled with worry and Dean ran his hands up to cup his face. “You won’t hurt me, Angel. Now move.”

Castiel did as he was told and he pulled out and slid back in and this time two voices moaned in unison. Dean wrapped his legs around Cass’ waist, making him slide in deeper. “Fuck,” Dean growled out loudly and they both froze, staring at the wall that separated their room from his mother’s. “I’ll cover your mouth if you cover mine,” Dean chuckled jokingly but on the next thrust he realized he might be serious. It felt better than he could have imagined. Maybe their profound bond? Castiel looked feral, his eyes wide and his pupils dark and swallowing up his iris. When Cass began to find a rhythm, raw groans kept pouring from their mouths and Dean slapped a hand over Castiel’s mouth at a particularly loud one. Cass nodded and put on hand firmly over Dean’s mouth as well, and then proceeded to drive into him at a much faster pace, their noises successfully muffled from Mary. It wasn’t the most comfortable way but better than his mother walking in on them. She’d been through enough today…

Dean began to whine underneath Castiel’s hand and he slid a hand from his neck to grip his own dick, feeling close just on what Cass was doing. Castiel looked down and frowned. Dean could tell he wanted to do that himself, but he had one hand over Dean’s mouth and the other supporting himself. Dean kissed the palm covering his mouth as he began tugging on himself with more speed. Castiel leaned down and began leaving dark red love bites below his collar bone, letting his teeth sink just enough to bruise slightly as he drove into Dean with more force now, assured Dean would not break. Dean tried to focus on his Angel but his brain would not cooperate as he arched and moved with his thrusts. 

Things became more frantic when Castiel suddenly gripped both of Dean’s wrists in his own and pinned them above his head, urging their mouths together to swallow up one another’s groans. Dean half-heartedly struggled against his hold but knew it was pointless. He also knew all it would take would be one word of protest and his lover would release him. Castiel leaned over, almost doubling Dean over onto himself as he worked himself rapidly, his hips slapping into Dean’s ass as he moved. With the angle change came Castiel sliding over Dean’s prostate. Dean had not even gotten to explain about that to Cass and he was gliding against it like he knew exactly what he was doing. Eager gasps poured into their kiss from Dean’s mouth as he murmured against Cass’ lips.   
“Just like that, Cass. Right there,” Dean breathed out in a shaky half sob before Castiel swallowed up every noise Dean poured out. He did as Dean asked, increasing the tempo of their dance as Dean’s chest heaved and his muscles quivered. 

Castiel’s eyes were slits as he was lost to the feelings assaulting his Angelic senses. Dean couldn’t fully know what was going on in the Angel’s head, never could, but the raw need in his eyes spoke volumes and Dean was pretty sure his echoed a similar sentiment. Castiel suddenly released Dean’s arms and propped himself up again, making his strokes slow as if he was cherishing every moment, his mouth held in a tight line to keep from crying out. Dean threw his now free hands up to slide them into Cass’ hair, his nails digging into his scalp. Cass slid a hand down Dean’s chest, slick with sweat, and gripped his cock in his hand, his touch almost worshipful. His fingers glided only a bit clumsily as he began jacking him off. Dean arched hungrily into Cass’ hand, fucking into it desperately, putting a hand over Castiel’s, and lacing his fingers with his own.

“Seeing you like this, Dean…I’ve imagined it so long…You being…” Castiel whispered, bending down to gently place his lips to Dean’s ear. “Mine…” he growled low and gravelly as he gripped his dick possessively. 

Dean’s eyes rolled back in his head as his words settled into his overwhelmed mind. “Been yours since Purgatory…” He whispered back, his hand gliding lovingly through Cass’ hair as he felt his orgasm approaching under their combined hands.

“I know…I knew then too,” Cass whispered back as he pressed their lips together, feeling Dean come in their joined hands as Dean gasped his name into his mouth. 

Castiel could feel Dean tighten around his dick and he gritted his teeth, “Fucking Hell…” Cass groaned out. He leaned back and gripped his arms around Dean’s thighs, dragging him down the bed as he shuddered above him and clamped his eyes shut to hide the blue glow of grace shining through. Dean felt Cass come, impossibly hot, inside him. He couldn’t quite find words to describe the feeling rushing from his head to his toes, knowing it had to do with the Angel above him. Grace maybe? He thought he’d have come again if he had the capability. Castiel gently released his legs and slid out of him, kneeling at the end of the bed. He stared down at Dean with a predatory possession that left Dean gasping, his chest heaving with the weight of what they had done. He lay there exposed, vulnerable, and covered in his own pleasure, brazenly satisfied and unashamed. 

“Cass…” Dean whispered in a shaky, unsteady breath. His eyes locked with his Angel, his mind racing now. 

Castiel whispered as he ran his hands up Dean’s thighs, sending chills up his skin. “Dean, our secrets are our own. No one has to know….”


End file.
